


Raindrops on her hands

by veryterriblewritings



Series: Original work [2]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Depression, Gen, Pretty gloomy and depressing, Talking about the weather and skies and rain, being sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-06
Updated: 2020-05-06
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:54:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24036184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/veryterriblewritings/pseuds/veryterriblewritings
Summary: an excerpt of a story i will never finish
Series: Original work [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1733884





	Raindrops on her hands

**Author's Note:**

> an excerpt of a story i will never finish

In the evening, rain came pouring down again. The sound of rain hitting the roof was loud. She pulled the windows in, closing them shut. The sound of the rain simmered down a little bit, not completely quite but it was no longer deafening. She watched the raindrops rolling down the glass windows. The scenery outside was blurry, covered in a greyish misty fog. She could barely see the buildings outside. It was beautiful but rather gloomy. So was she.

It had been like this for a couple of days. The sunny afternoons transitioned into gloomy evenings. It was only five in the evening but the skies were as grey as it can get. It felt like twilight would come sooner than it was supposed to.

It’s the rainy days like this one that added the hint of gloominess in her already sad and weak heart. It’s the rainy days like this one that set up the mood as if she had a heavy dark cloud over her head. It’s the rainy days like this one that made it feels like it was okay to sit beside the window for hours, staring at the pouring rain, letting the ghosts in her head to take charge and drown her.

It wasn’t the first time she felt like this on a rainy day. Sometimes, it could easily be a sunny day and she would be just as gloomy. These days, it’s all she does. Sitting still and staring into spaces, driving her train of thoughts through an endless tunnel, into a void before snapping back into reality. She just had too much time in her hands since she decided to take a break.

She took a break because she felt really scared about everything. The thoughts of having to do even the simplest task triggered her anxiety. So, she wanted to get away, to try to calm down and unwind. Maybe she could use the time to untangle the messy knots inside her head. But as of late, it felt like the decision to take a break was the wrong one. It felt like she was just finding an excuse to procrastinate even more.

She could have and should have been using this time to find herself again. Clean her spaces, find a hobby, do the things that she had been wanting to do. Those things that she should have done but couldn’t because she was busy before. But she didn’t end up doing any of those things. And she wasn’t busy. Nothing she does could wake her excitement anymore. Even the things she found interesting in the past.

She was scared. The future had never seemed bleaker than this. She realized often enough that she could control nothing in her life. Things could change without her permission. Clock will always tick life away whether she liked it or not. She could sit still beside the window and watch the rain pour but she couldn’t stop the rain nor the time. The rain will stop and the time will fly away. She could sit still but the sun will still circle the earth and the sky will get dark and the days will turn to weeks and months and years. She controlled nothing. She was scared, of being uncertain.

Before she knew it, she was out of the building and stood on the covered pavement. She felt the cold gust of wind on her face and blew her hair back. She reached out to touch the rain. Her hands became cold and wet as the raindrops fell.


End file.
